As Father begins to preach his homily I hear the rustle of a coat I see something black move in my peripheral vision. I look over and see him looking down at his lit up phone screen to check to see if anybody texted or snapchatted him. The homily is definitely the perfect time to do that… right?

“Hey! Today sucked! [insert rude remarks about co-workers here] yada yada yada. [insert negative remarks about everything that could have possibly gone wrong in a day here] yada yada yada. Welp, that’s all I got for ya, bye!”

After a long embrace, I finally step back, “I’m so glad that you came today”. She replies, “What do I get out of it, though? I don’t feel any better. I don’t hear anything.”


These are all real-life examples of selfishness that I’ve witnessed recently. I get so frustrated.

The first scenario deals with being present. I am a big believer on being present. No matter where you are, just be there. If you’re at mass, BE AT MASS; if you’re hanging out with a friend, HANG OUT WITH THAT FRIEND.. Don’t sit there on your phone and waste valuable time with someone else by making plans for what you’re doing afterwards. I don’t know why it bugs me so much, but let me tell you, the steam is probably visible coming out of my ears because I get so worked up about it. I just don’t see the point of even hanging out with people or going to mass if you’re not going to be present there.

The second scenario depicts a conversation on the phone that happens quite often in my life. There are people in our lives that are supposed to care for us and we are supposed to be able to confide in them and feel comfortable with them. However, the key word is ‘supposed’ because those people don’t always come through when we need or want them to. Just once in a while, it would be nice to receive a phone call that wasn’t 100% about how shitty of a day you had. I would feel more comfortable if you ever asked me how my day was; or how I’m doing. Not that I need everything to be about me… but it would be nice if you at least genuinely acted like you cared.

The third scenario depicts a thought process spoken out loud that we all experience a little bit. The “all about me” syndrome. Looking at a situation and asking, “What will I get out of this?” or “How can I benefit?”. Today’s society has definitely trained us all to look out for ME ME ME ME ME. When did we stop caring about other people? Why is it so out of the ordinary for someone to go out of their way to do something for someone else? Love is about sacrifice. The sacrifice of time and effort especially. We can sacrifice for our loved ones by spending time with them, listening intently to what they have to say, offering advice when they seek counsel, etc. 

Now, this post has obviously pointed out a lot of wrong in other people… but don’t you worry, I, by no means, view myself as being perfect. I have many not so great qualities in myself including selfishness at times. However, I feel that the characteristic of myself that I hate the most is probably my bitterness. I tend to allow certain situations that I have been through dictate how I feel about certain people or life situations. I allow bitterness to overcome my emotions and it causes me to lose myself at times. I really am working on opening up my eyes and being open to new things. I’m also working on finding the GOOD in this world.

What characteristics grind your gears??


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