Rough Edges

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” 

-Marianne Willamson

This is so true. We all have these feelings of feeling inadequate.. like we aren’t good enough. 

That’s what I thought I have been feeling for so long. That I am not worth it.. that I don’t know what I’m doing.. etc.

Really, I think that what I’ve been feeling is that I know that I can be so much better.. I know that I can be happier if I made certain decisions or surrounded myself with different people/situations… but I’m so used to the familiarity of feeling like shit. I have allowed life to instill these feelings of inadequacy into my mind. So much that I am unable to allow my light to shine..

I strike out before I even step up to bat. I’m like a plant that withers before my seed is even planted. 

I often have conversations with a very good friend of mine about a multitude of different things… whenever we talk about the Catholic Church/faith in general… he always describes me as someone with

rough edges

I’m not the shiny diamond that sparkles and shines so beautifully.

Now, don’t get me wrong… I’m not saying that this is a bad thing at all.. but I’m definitely not the diamond

I love that I’m not a diamond; I think it makes me real. It allows me to connect with an abundance of different kinds of people.

I like that I’m not shiny and perfect.

Do I believe that I am worthy?

most days

Do I believe that my imperfections and faults have helped form me into a beautiful masterpiece?

absolutely

Do I believe that this life is worth living? That knowledge is worth learning? and that love is worth giving?

most definitely

These are the beautiful things of this world… that things AREN’T perfect. 

But in order for them to be beautiful and for us to continue to use our gifts… we have to dig deep and believe in ourselves.

We have to make better decisions.

We have to surround ourselves by better people.

We have to make life worth living.

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