To be young again.
To live free and with innocence.
To run around on a daily basis and have your biggest decision be what’s for lunch.
Your worst day is when you fall and scrape your knee… but it’s all better once someone kisses it or gives you a popsicle.
At what age do we grow up?
When does the innocence go away?
When do our fears go from scraped up knees to broken hearts?
When do we stop worrying about who is in our classes with us and when our next paycheck is coming?
I see it with my students all the time. Situations when I watch them hurt and worry about things that only established adults should worry about.. and then I wonder, who the heck is an established adult? And how do you become one!?
Since the end of March, my life has had SO many ups and downs, but I’ve learned so much. In seven days, I am moving 1,800 miles from the state I’ve spent my whole life in. All of this talk about growing up and expenses and insurance plans has really got me thinking about the whole grown up thing. It makes me feel so old and serious and adult, but I am definitely not an established adult yet.
Life is thrilling… exciting, yet terrifying. I am stoked for my first teaching job, the change of scenery, being able to watch my cousin play basketball her last two years of high school… But I am terrified of being away from my closest friends, being so far away from my support system, screwing up at my new job, not making enough money to make it out there on my own…
I think that the answers to these fears is that there is no answer. There is no written book of what is in store for me. I can’t skip to the end and read the final page or chapter to make sure I end up happy.
But I CAN find peace in knowing that there is an amazing King that has written my fairy tale. Do I know if I’ll be in Arizona forever? Do I know if I’ll end up married with a couple of kids? Do I know if my students will like me? No… I am unsure of all of those things.. but I DO know that no matter what… life WILL work out.
Life is not about the number of candles you’re blowing out this year… or how many grey hairs you found this morning… it’s about surrounding yourself with people and places that are life-giving.
Hopefully you can find some peace with your future. Stop worrying about what’s going to happen in a year and start focusing on what you can do to be involved in relationships and situations that are LIFE-GIVING now.