“You can’t save everybody. In fact, there are days when I think you can’t save anyone. Each person has to save himself first, then you can move in and help”
— Laurell K. Hamilton
This has just resonated so loudly with me lately. It takes me back to You Can’t Save Everyone Part 1. I feel like it’s safe to say that most of you have at least one situation in which you can relate to this topic. The devastation/disappointment when you realize that there is nothing more you can do.
Sometimes, I become so engulfed in this idea that I can reach this person. I have so much belief in a person that I see past some of their faults because I want so badly for them to make better choices.
I have to remind myself that I can’t make choices for other people. When I really get down to it.. that’s not what I want.. I don’t want someone to make a choice for me. I want people to make better choices to better their own life.
When I think back to situations of my own life in which I was stuck in a rut; or stuck in a terrible situation making terrible choices… I remember that I had to choose to change. Sure, people supported me and I would have never been able to overcome said situations without some amazing people in my life fighting for me and pushing me to be better. However, in the end.. I am the person that had to make the choice for myself.
Now… all that being said, I’m not necessarily saying to throw everyone to the wolves to fend for themselves. I think the whole point of this post is that I struggle determining when I’ve done all that is appropriate for me to do in a given situation. Currently.. why a personal situation.. I’m struggling figuring out what it looks like to love someone that I care so much about when that person is not loving oneself.
What does it look like to care for someone when you have repeatedly given them more chances. I can only provide so much support and so many strategies. I can only do so much of the work.
I’m coming to the realization that there are times that I just care way too much and am working on letting go and processing through what that looks like. It’s a learning process that I think I will struggle to learn my whole life.